From Planetaria Obscura May 2016
Thee Ate Er
So I’ve been calling this round shed I built a theater. This not to code, easily knocked down, tin roofed little monstrosity a theater. Its got walls of the cheapest paneling, since that bends the best. Its got a trailer skirting roof, since it could be overlapped. Its got rafters that are teepee’ed together, a gravity defying trick I finally trusted only a year ago when I nervously took the last supporting 2x4 out and it didn’t collapse. Its got black vinyl plastic, the stuff I love to hate and hate but love. The dome part is sprayed white, but continually requires touch up - I remember getting sick the day I did it - da fumes! Da fumes! Sorry. The floor is uneven, sloped, and covered with ancient rugs. But it’s a theater because I say it’s a theater, despite its construction shortcomings. What if I compared real theaters with mine? Dare I??
Up at the movie house we still occasionally go to, you have to sit through 25 minutes of ads and previews. In mine, you have to sit through 25 minutes of dark adaption. When I recently saw a Midsummer Nights Dream at a big college, there were kings and queens and heroes and all manner of unlikely creatures. I have that. The movie place had unlimited butter popcorn. Mine has unlimited banter popping from me. The play had rich costumes. Mine has me in somewhat drabber dress, but who cares in the dark. The real theaters used to have ushers with flashlights. AHA! I still employ one of those. Although he’s been asking for a raise lately, and goes through a lot of batteries…
Thee Ate Er
So I’ve been calling this round shed I built a theater. This not to code, easily knocked down, tin roofed little monstrosity a theater. Its got walls of the cheapest paneling, since that bends the best. Its got a trailer skirting roof, since it could be overlapped. Its got rafters that are teepee’ed together, a gravity defying trick I finally trusted only a year ago when I nervously took the last supporting 2x4 out and it didn’t collapse. Its got black vinyl plastic, the stuff I love to hate and hate but love. The dome part is sprayed white, but continually requires touch up - I remember getting sick the day I did it - da fumes! Da fumes! Sorry. The floor is uneven, sloped, and covered with ancient rugs. But it’s a theater because I say it’s a theater, despite its construction shortcomings. What if I compared real theaters with mine? Dare I??
Up at the movie house we still occasionally go to, you have to sit through 25 minutes of ads and previews. In mine, you have to sit through 25 minutes of dark adaption. When I recently saw a Midsummer Nights Dream at a big college, there were kings and queens and heroes and all manner of unlikely creatures. I have that. The movie place had unlimited butter popcorn. Mine has unlimited banter popping from me. The play had rich costumes. Mine has me in somewhat drabber dress, but who cares in the dark. The real theaters used to have ushers with flashlights. AHA! I still employ one of those. Although he’s been asking for a raise lately, and goes through a lot of batteries…
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